I met a real, live former prostitute today.
I'm taking a class called Gender, Body and Sexuality in Scandinavia and this morning's session was canceled because Alice could only schedule speaking to us tonight, because she has a new job. I belive it's working for an isurance company.
I really learned a lot. Alice did not go into the business because of drugs, like you might assume most other girls do. She divorced her husband and was really worried about how to support her two children and it seemed like an easy thing to do. At this point, the thought was just crossing her mind. It wasn't until she started dating, and later married, this guy Flemming, who admitted that he had thought about going into the porn business. She was 39 when they started writing ads and he'd drive her to the clients. It got really bad - sometimes, they wouldn't go to family parties because they could be out making money. Or they'd leave early if a client called during an event.
She talked to a girlfriend of hers, who is a therapist, about it. Alice still thought she was happy at the time, but the therapist asked her if she wanted her daughter to be a prostitute and if not, why not, because you always want your kids to go into the family business if it's working out really well and you're so happy. It was then that she realized she wasn't happy and that'd she'd been blocking out her feelings to the point where she was working from the neck down.
I really admired how she told her kids as soon as she could work up the strength. Her daughter had found one of her advertisements and knew what was going on and was just glad her mother finally came clean. Her son had no idea and just thanked her for telling him, but said he never wanted to hear anything about it ever again and that she would always be their mother and that was that.
Now, she has a new boyfriend, who knows about her history. But he's accepted it and Alice is really happy. She also works to help other women get out of the business. She called an organization and they didn't have a group for women who started prostituting but not because of drugs or alcohol, so she started one. These women can still get too far into it, as she did - Alice had to have her uterus removed and after they sewed her up, the doctors told her she couldn't have sex for six weeks. So, instead, she just did S&M for a few weeks or other acts that wouldn't aggravate it as much as "normal" sex. I couldn't believe that, to have a giant scar across your stomach but still not be able to stay away?
Her story was really intense. It sounds weird to say I'm glad I met a prostitute, but it made me realize a lot about the women who go into the business. And I don't think any of my professors at Maryland would bring in a prostitute. However, I'm taking Human Sexuality in the fall, which I've heard is very intense (and also one of the Maryland must-take classes) so maybe I'm wrong. I'll find out when I get the syllabus in August, I suppose.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Ruya comes to play!
It wasn't a particularly exciting excursion, but today my friend Ruya came to Grundtvigs.
It was so we could work on our paper for Health Care in Scandinavia class, which is fun class, but I have to say, I'm getting a little sick of reading about the laws of abortion in Denmark. In case you are wondering, they're all free for women as long as they're in the first 12 weeks.
But it was just really fun to show someone else the greenhouse that's my home that I love so much. I felt bad that she had to pay to come here - I live in Zone 9 and she's in Zone 5, I believe, so she had to pay the difference. I have an alle zoner (all-zone, obviously) pass, I could've gone to her place without paying any extra, but she didn't really have wireless internet and we have a computer lab here, so she didn't even need to bring her laptop.
She lives with a host family and they were excited when they realized she was coming here - their daughter, who is now in her thirties, went here back in the day.
This week is going to be weird - tomorrow morning, all the Danes are going to Berlin with the school. They're renting the place out to senior citizens. We're also not getting any meals. Alicia asked DIS about that and got us 150DKK to help pay for food for the week, which was a good amount. It's going to be so weird without the Danes here and I'm really going to miss them. And I like getting food that I don't have to pay for.
But anyway, I wouldn't have been here for meals tomorrow anyway because I'm going to LEGOLAND! I can feel myself decreasing in age as it gets closer and closer.
It was so we could work on our paper for Health Care in Scandinavia class, which is fun class, but I have to say, I'm getting a little sick of reading about the laws of abortion in Denmark. In case you are wondering, they're all free for women as long as they're in the first 12 weeks.
But it was just really fun to show someone else the greenhouse that's my home that I love so much. I felt bad that she had to pay to come here - I live in Zone 9 and she's in Zone 5, I believe, so she had to pay the difference. I have an alle zoner (all-zone, obviously) pass, I could've gone to her place without paying any extra, but she didn't really have wireless internet and we have a computer lab here, so she didn't even need to bring her laptop.
She lives with a host family and they were excited when they realized she was coming here - their daughter, who is now in her thirties, went here back in the day.
This week is going to be weird - tomorrow morning, all the Danes are going to Berlin with the school. They're renting the place out to senior citizens. We're also not getting any meals. Alicia asked DIS about that and got us 150DKK to help pay for food for the week, which was a good amount. It's going to be so weird without the Danes here and I'm really going to miss them. And I like getting food that I don't have to pay for.
But anyway, I wouldn't have been here for meals tomorrow anyway because I'm going to LEGOLAND! I can feel myself decreasing in age as it gets closer and closer.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Open Mic
The Danes informed us that we were planning tonight's open mic, so Josh had taken up the call to action and the rest of us sort of followed when he needed.
It was really fun, and also, I had the best cake ever at Grundtvigs. It was cinnamon and chocolate. I told Alicia she had to try it and when she asked me what flavor it was, my immediate response was "Good. Try it." The look on her face was one of such urgency; she got up right away to grab some.
Open mic night was very successful. A lot of people signed up to perform. A lot of it was in Danish, but most of it wasn't. And one group sang a lot of childrens' songs, some of which were songs like "Itsy Bitsy Spider" translated into Danish, but with the same tune, so it wasn't all lost on us.
It was also Marc's birthday! So we sang "Happy Birthday" to him. There's also a Danish birthday song that the Danes sang, which they also sang at dinner, when Signe and Amanda presented Marc with a chocolate raspberry cake in the middle of the dining hall.
But even Ole performed. If I haven't mentioned him before, he's this really cute older man who is a teacher here. I think he teaches French, but he's the one we talk to the most out of everyone. He runs our Monday night meetings to check in with us about how things are going. He read a poem by T.S. Eliot. He's so funny. I'm going to miss Ole Vind come May 18th when they kick me out of here. I don't want to think about going home!
It was really fun, and also, I had the best cake ever at Grundtvigs. It was cinnamon and chocolate. I told Alicia she had to try it and when she asked me what flavor it was, my immediate response was "Good. Try it." The look on her face was one of such urgency; she got up right away to grab some.
Open mic night was very successful. A lot of people signed up to perform. A lot of it was in Danish, but most of it wasn't. And one group sang a lot of childrens' songs, some of which were songs like "Itsy Bitsy Spider" translated into Danish, but with the same tune, so it wasn't all lost on us.
It was also Marc's birthday! So we sang "Happy Birthday" to him. There's also a Danish birthday song that the Danes sang, which they also sang at dinner, when Signe and Amanda presented Marc with a chocolate raspberry cake in the middle of the dining hall.
But even Ole performed. If I haven't mentioned him before, he's this really cute older man who is a teacher here. I think he teaches French, but he's the one we talk to the most out of everyone. He runs our Monday night meetings to check in with us about how things are going. He read a poem by T.S. Eliot. He's so funny. I'm going to miss Ole Vind come May 18th when they kick me out of here. I don't want to think about going home!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Vi elsker, vi elsker FCK!
Today was the soccer/ fotbold match between FCK and Mid-Jutland.
Most of DIS got to go. If you were enrolled in Danish, you got to go automatically and if not, you could buy a ticket at the front desk. A few people got closed out because they didn't have enough tickets.
I didn't go with the rest of the kids from Grundtvigs; my Danish teacher offered to take us all with him and I didn't realize how close it was to school! But I went with Mogens and everyone in all his classes. I love Mogens. Danish late at night is worth it because he's my teacher.
We got there and Chloe and I went in immediately because we wanted to buy FCK t-shirts, but then found out they were actually outside and we couldn't get back in if we left. So we didn't get t-shirts, but the game was still a lot of fun.
FCK didn't play so well that day. It was sad. And they lost. I forget whether they even scored or not, because there were a few close calls. But Mid-Jutland won with a score of 2. But at least soccer/ fotbold is better to watch than a lot of other sports, I think. There's always something going on, even if the way your team is playing makes you want to cry. I feel like in baseball, you're waiting for that amazing home run to happen. And sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesn't.
In other news, Alaina and I were on a mission to get on the jumbo-screen and we succeeded. We saw the camera guy filming a bunch of kids a few rows in front of us, so we decided to hold out our cameras and see if we could get on the screen and get a picture of it. We did! It was awesome. Ours are both blurry, but hers is much better, so I'll post it when I get it from her. It was funny, because a few people I saw later told me they saw my coat on the jumbo screen, to which I responded, "You know, that's funny, because I was actually in my coat at that point in time." I never got comments like that before, but everyone here thinks my coat is really distinctive. So far it's been good, people don't lose me in crowds. Or maybe no one's tried hard enough to lose me. I hope not.
After the game, amidst the masses of people, both DIS students and Danes alike, I ran into Allison and some of her friends. I sent her a text message asking her if she wanted to get dinner. She forgot her phone, but we were on the same page and she invited me to go to the Laundromat Cafe with her, which was really cute. Kind of touristy, but cute nonetheless. It was expensive which was unfortunate, but the tomato-avocado sandwich I got was about the size of my head and really good, so I got my money's worth. And I tried actual strawberry juice. I've never seen the brand (or even much strawberry juice in general) in the United States, but it was really good.
Most of DIS got to go. If you were enrolled in Danish, you got to go automatically and if not, you could buy a ticket at the front desk. A few people got closed out because they didn't have enough tickets.
I didn't go with the rest of the kids from Grundtvigs; my Danish teacher offered to take us all with him and I didn't realize how close it was to school! But I went with Mogens and everyone in all his classes. I love Mogens. Danish late at night is worth it because he's my teacher.
We got there and Chloe and I went in immediately because we wanted to buy FCK t-shirts, but then found out they were actually outside and we couldn't get back in if we left. So we didn't get t-shirts, but the game was still a lot of fun.
FCK didn't play so well that day. It was sad. And they lost. I forget whether they even scored or not, because there were a few close calls. But Mid-Jutland won with a score of 2. But at least soccer/ fotbold is better to watch than a lot of other sports, I think. There's always something going on, even if the way your team is playing makes you want to cry. I feel like in baseball, you're waiting for that amazing home run to happen. And sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesn't.
In other news, Alaina and I were on a mission to get on the jumbo-screen and we succeeded. We saw the camera guy filming a bunch of kids a few rows in front of us, so we decided to hold out our cameras and see if we could get on the screen and get a picture of it. We did! It was awesome. Ours are both blurry, but hers is much better, so I'll post it when I get it from her. It was funny, because a few people I saw later told me they saw my coat on the jumbo screen, to which I responded, "You know, that's funny, because I was actually in my coat at that point in time." I never got comments like that before, but everyone here thinks my coat is really distinctive. So far it's been good, people don't lose me in crowds. Or maybe no one's tried hard enough to lose me. I hope not.
After the game, amidst the masses of people, both DIS students and Danes alike, I ran into Allison and some of her friends. I sent her a text message asking her if she wanted to get dinner. She forgot her phone, but we were on the same page and she invited me to go to the Laundromat Cafe with her, which was really cute. Kind of touristy, but cute nonetheless. It was expensive which was unfortunate, but the tomato-avocado sandwich I got was about the size of my head and really good, so I got my money's worth. And I tried actual strawberry juice. I've never seen the brand (or even much strawberry juice in general) in the United States, but it was really good.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Farmer Party.
Tonight was the welcome party at Luux. I thought about going back into the city for it. I was done with class at 1 p.m. and I couldn't get my free drink until maybe 8 or 9 p.m., at the earliest.
But after an adventure to Vero Italiano, a small (cheap!) Italian restaurant in Copenhagen with Allison, I went back to Grundtvigs and found out that it was a farmer-themed dinner. No one really knew what that meant, except that dinner was moved to 7 p.m. instead of 6 p.m.
So, I put on the only button-down shirt I had, which was white but had some frills, and then a pair of jeans and boots. It was cute - they decorated and everything. Most of us dressed up for the occasion. The tables all had on red and white checkered table cloths and fruit and vegetable centerpieces. It was supposed to be kind of a tribute to rural Denmark at the turn of the century. They played Danish folk music the whole evening. It was kind of cool.
Interestingly enough, only one of the Americans, Carrie, could identify the leek sitting on the table. Molly and I were trying to figure out the English word. All the Danes knew the Danish word. Finally, Signe looked it up in a dictionary.
I must be a bad vegetarian, I need to freshen up on my vegetables, apparently.
But after an adventure to Vero Italiano, a small (cheap!) Italian restaurant in Copenhagen with Allison, I went back to Grundtvigs and found out that it was a farmer-themed dinner. No one really knew what that meant, except that dinner was moved to 7 p.m. instead of 6 p.m.
So, I put on the only button-down shirt I had, which was white but had some frills, and then a pair of jeans and boots. It was cute - they decorated and everything. Most of us dressed up for the occasion. The tables all had on red and white checkered table cloths and fruit and vegetable centerpieces. It was supposed to be kind of a tribute to rural Denmark at the turn of the century. They played Danish folk music the whole evening. It was kind of cool.
Interestingly enough, only one of the Americans, Carrie, could identify the leek sitting on the table. Molly and I were trying to figure out the English word. All the Danes knew the Danish word. Finally, Signe looked it up in a dictionary.
I must be a bad vegetarian, I need to freshen up on my vegetables, apparently.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Japanese Party
Tonight, I got home late from school as usual. Danish ending at 5:45 is a killer sometimes.
I got home to find the Danes (and some Americans) in the gym playing a game where they put cherry (or grape, I forget) tomatoes on their heads and rammed into the wall.
Then, the evening went on with Sing Star, which is karaoke. It was on a play station or some familiar video game console, but it was funny because there were a lot of Danish songs in addition to all the cheesy American ones that are always involved in karaoke.
I got home to find the Danes (and some Americans) in the gym playing a game where they put cherry (or grape, I forget) tomatoes on their heads and rammed into the wall.
Then, the evening went on with Sing Star, which is karaoke. It was on a play station or some familiar video game console, but it was funny because there were a lot of Danish songs in addition to all the cheesy American ones that are always involved in karaoke.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Visiting family visit #2
I saw my visiting family for the second time today.
It was really great to see them and also to have a home-cooked meal. The food here is good, but it gets tiring sometimes. I also met their other daughter, Tine. I still have yet to meet Peter but I'm sure I will soon enough.
I love talking to them. It's kind of fun to explain American things and have them explain Danish things. I was talking to them about what a sorority is. I forget how it came up, but I was explaining the concept to Peter, one of the Danes at Grundtvigs, and I happened to mention that to them. It's a little bit difficult to explain, I've realized.
It was really great to see them and also to have a home-cooked meal. The food here is good, but it gets tiring sometimes. I also met their other daughter, Tine. I still have yet to meet Peter but I'm sure I will soon enough.
I love talking to them. It's kind of fun to explain American things and have them explain Danish things. I was talking to them about what a sorority is. I forget how it came up, but I was explaining the concept to Peter, one of the Danes at Grundtvigs, and I happened to mention that to them. It's a little bit difficult to explain, I've realized.
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